met you with a girlfriend, you were so divine
by ratherembarrassing
Summary: 1/2; rachel/dani, santana/dani, santana/rachel/dani "You," Santana breathes. "And Rachel." "Oh boy." She takes Santana's hand, pulling her up the stoop and into her apartment building. "Let's get you a seat."
1. Chapter 1

_an anon sent me this fantastic prompt:_

_Dani walks San home and they end up in bed and in the middle of it it comes up that dani slept w Rachel which catches Santana off guard (and she finds it super hot obvs) cuz she had no idea Rachel slept with girls. Dani notices that Santana really likes it and runs with it, telling her she likes it and she keeps asking her if she'd want Rachel to join. Next time, Rachel walks in and joins in. Is that a prompt? Maybe. Idk._

_i haven't exactly followed it, but it was very inspiring._

_..._

Santana is ridiculously cute.

Dani actually has to force herself not to just grin stupidly at her all the time, which isn't a problem she's really had before, but seriously, _so cute_. She thinks it's because Santana doesn't realize she's being cute, putting on a big show of how she totally told off some guy at her audition for being a jerk.

"I swear, if one more casting director spends my entire audition staring at my boobs, I'm going to go complete She-Hulk on them. Just rip these ten thousand dollar sacks of silicone right out of my chest and beat him with them."

"You have implants?" Dani asks, still trying not to laugh at the way Santana's practically flapping her hands as she mimes assaulting someone with what Dani can only call a really good investment.

"Yeah," Santana shrugs. "It was… I don't know, probably really stupid at the time. But I like them now. It's a good place to hide a wire," she adds, hands coming up to cup her own breasts, "and I don't have to carry a wallet when I go out."

It's the combination of unexpected openness and hilarious self-deprecation that finally sends her into a fit of laughter, and she clutches at Santana's arm to keep from doubling over.

"You're ridiculous," Dani says when she catches her breath, "but it's cute. I can see why Rachel thought I'd like you."

"Rachel thought you'd— what?"

…

_The start of the morning shift is her favorite, but only because the first hour she's pretty much getting paid to fill the salt shakers and drink free coffee. Everything else is the same old crap she deals with in this job, including the regular parade of newbies who only last a week._

_At least this week's is cute._

_Dani watches the girl flit from table to table in the otherwise empty diner, wiping each one down and straightening the condiments in a completely anal manner that makes Dani snort._

_"This isn't as exciting as I thought it would be," Rachel says when she's made her way through all the tables and back to slump against the counter. "I don't know what I was expecting. Working in a diner is exactly the kind of life experience I need to portray the struggles of the average American, but it's so mind-numbing I'm finding it difficult to really capture anything in particular about the whole thing. It just seems so pointless, especially when all I have to show for it is $42 in tips and sore feet. Perhaps if I wore my hair down it would increase my tips—"_

_"Maybe that's the point," Dani says, interrupting before Rachel builds up some steam for the third time in the hour. "The average American experience is mind-numbing."_

_Rachel frowns at that, head tilting to the side in thought, and Dani finds herself adding, "And I think you should wear your hair down."_

…

_They grab a really late dinner a week after their first shift together. Rachel asked, but Dani probably would have if Rachel hadn't beaten her to it. She's intense, which Dani likes, and the place Rachel leads her to has amazing sushi, but it doesn't feel any different to the times they've spent chatting at the diner as they work._

_Which is why Dani's surprised when Rachel kisses her as they're standing at the intersection waiting for the lights, and even more so when she says, "You should invite me to your place."_

_Her apartment is a mess, because she really wasn't expecting this, but Rachel doesn't seem to care, wandering through the living space to perch at the end of the bed that isn't even made. "I feel like I need to be honest," Rachel says, and shit, she should have known Rachel was straight. "I'm not straight."_

_"Okay?"_

_"But I'm not, you know," Rachel waves her hand. "Experienced."_

_Dani takes a seat beside her. "Are you going to freak out?"_

_"I'm not going to freak out," Rachel says in a tone so convincing that Dani kisses her._

_"Well okay then."_

_"My roommates will freak out but—" Dani kisses her again. "Okay, I'm done talking now."_

_Rachel's fun in bed. Like, really fun. She's kind of bossy but good with directions. She laughs when Dani says she's hot even as she blushes all the way down to her chest. And when Dani takes her by the hips and devours her, Rachel pulls at Dani's hair and laughs when she comes._

_"Oh my god, your _mouth_," Rachel moans, and Dani snorts at the way the words come out sounding like Fanny Brice. "You know, you would probably like Santana."_

_That's a weird thing to say, considering their current circumstances. She's still between Rachel's legs, and, "I'm sorry, who?"_

_"My roommate," Rachel says, sitting up to lean against the headboard. "She works at the diner; I'm surprised you haven't met her. Snarky, beautiful, and despite the nails is actually a lesbian."_

_Dani sits up too, but keeps her place between Rachel's legs. "The one who will freak when they find out about-" She waves her hand between the two of them—"this?"_

_"I think you two would get along," Rachel says._

_"And you thought this while I was going down on you?"_

_"No," Rachel says pointedly, a cheeky grin softening the tone. "I was thinking it when you were being incredibly nice to me."_

…

"You and Ra—" Santana's voice breaks, and Dani presses her lips together.

"Just the once," she replies, attempting not to laugh at Santana's dazed look of arousal.

"You and _Rachel_."

Dani just grins. "Mhmm."

"_You_," Santana breathes. "And _Rachel_."

"Oh boy." She takes Santana's hand, pulling her up the stoop and into her apartment building. "Let's get you a seat."

…

"She was pretty good in bed, you know."

It could be weird to mention that about someone's roommate, but the way Santana had practically tackled her once they got inside has Dani thinking Santana won't mind hearing this.

The strangled moan as she sinks down further onto Dani's fingers is all the confirmation she needs, and she drags her thumb across Santana's clit in slow, teasing circles that have her straining forward to get even the smallest amount of relief.

They've been together a few times already. Rachel was totally right; Dani does like Santana, and Rachel gave her a few tips about how not to scare her away that she's grateful for because, yeah, it's been worth it. Santana's not just cute, she's also endlessly sweet under her cranky exterior, and it turns out being told you make someone's boobs sweat is totally flattering.

"She was very enthusiastic," Dani continues conversationally. "Kind of bossy—" Santana lets out a sound that could almost be called a whimper. "But totally eager to get into it, if you know what I mean."

Santana leans further forward, bracing her weight on the pillow beside Dani's head. "I have no idea what you mean," she gasps. "None."

"Well," Dani says, her hand picking up speed. "Let's just say that, for a first timer, Little Miss Rachel Berry knows how to use that mouth of hers."

"I'll bet she does," Santana groans and, with another roll of Dani's wrist, comes so hard Dani has to ease her down onto the bed. When she finally catches her breath she glares up at Dani. "You're evil."

"I know," she says with a shrug. "But you want to bang you're super hot roommate, and I am totally okay with that."

Dani touches her fingers to Santana's chin, closing her mouth with a quiet click. Seriously, so cute.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Rachel?"

"_No!_" Santana hisses, and then practically pushes Dani sideways in her seat to stop her from saying anything more.

"Yes—" Dani manages, before sliding off the couch to get away from Santana's attempt to smother her. "Rachel could you come out here, please?"

Rachel joins them in the living room, and Dani spends a moment remembering what it was like to have those legs wrapped around her—

"_Well_?" Santana interrupts her thoughts, and Dani stares at them both blankly for a moment.

"Oh, right." So she's a little nervous. She's never actually invited someone to have a threesome with her before.

"For the record," Santana states before Dani can begin, "This wasn't my idea."

"Shut up, it totally was. Just because you won't admit—"

"There's nothing to admit! You had your hand between my legs; would you have preferred I _didn't_ react like I did to you touching me?"

"Santana!"

"Okay, what is going on here?" Rachel shouts over the top of them.

"Nothing—" Santana practically shrieks, and Dani can't stop the way the words just tumble out of her mouth.

"We want to sleep with you."

She really had planned to work up to that point. Judging from the way Rachel looks like her head is about to burst into flames, it probably would have been a better approach.

"I—" Rachel makes a strangled little sound, and then sinks down onto the chair opposite Dani and Santana. "You—"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to throw that out like that."

"I told you this was a terrible idea. Look at her," Santana says, pointing at Rachel's stunned expression. "You've broken her."

"May I continue?" Dani asks with a pointed look at Santana. She can deny it all she wants now, but Dani knows Santana wants this. She'd practically made the suggestion herself, Dani had just… coaxed it out of her. With orgasms.

"Fine," Santana huffs, flopping back against the couch.

"With me," Rachel chokes out, again before Dani says anything. "You… both. Me. Together?"

"Oh boy." Dani's beginning to think maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"You, I understand—" Rachel points at Dani, and then turns to Santana. "But _you_?"

"Oh, god," Santana groans, and buries her face in her hands.

"You do!" Rachel shrieks. "Oh my god!"

…

Dani knows it's going to happen tonight.

It turns out Rachel was very much into the idea, once Santana had grumblingly revealed she was _very_ much into the idea. It's been almost a week since they discussed it-a week in which Santana and Rachel's usual level of bickering as cranked up to eleven-but for the sake of saving Santana's head from exploding at the idea of scheduling sex with her girlfriend and her roommate, Dani suggested they just let it happen, knowing that they all wanted it to.

They're working the evening shift together, all three of them, and there's been this energy that has Dani desperately trying to rush her last table out through their meal, because as soon as they get out of here she knows: it's going to happen tonight.

Rachel's sharing her section, while Santana's working the counter, and the two of them have been kind of flirting whenever they notice Santana looking. Rachel's been really free with her affection in the last week, and it's opened up this whole new side of her to Dani, but with Santana looking on it's become…

They're only joking, because messing with Santana is fun and Rachel seems to enjoy it as much as Dani does, but then Rachel runs her hand down Dani's back and over her ass as she's making her way between the tables and it doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

It's followed by the sound of a shattering glass and Santana letting out a string of curses in Spanish and somehow that settles it in Dani's mind and in the way her pulse starts pounding a little harder. She finds Rachel over her shoulder, sends her a wink, and watches as Rachel smirks through a blush as Dani starts humming 'Tonight'.

…

"I don't know what you both thought that was going to achieve, but you are seriously mistaken," Santana blusters as she enters the tiny nook out the back that's supposedly their break room but is actually just a storage closet. "I am completely unaffected by your lesbian antics."

"Santana," Rachel breathes, not quite a sigh and with a definite note of intention. She moves over to where Santana's waiting just inside the door, presses her hand against Santana's waist as if she's going to move past in the small space, and Dani has to smother a laugh at Rachel's lack of subtlety and Santana's inability not to react. "I'm not a lesbian. And I'm not mistaken."

Rachel does leave then, and Dani cracks up. "Oh, come on," she says at Santana's glared pout. "You didn't enjoy that at all?"

Santana looks away, arms folding across her chest. "I had to pay for that glass out of my tips."

"I'm sorry," Dani says, slowly inching close to Santana. "But that's not really what I asked."

"I didn't." Santana shakes her head.

"Did you not enjoy it because we didn't let you play, too?"

"No." Santana shakes her head, but it slows as Dani traces a finger across her forearm. "I— Maybe."

"Come on," she says, taking Santana's hand. "I'll pay for the glass. And then we can go home and you can play with Rachel."

"Only if I can play with you too," Santana says softly, and even though Dani wants to get home she pauses to kiss her stupidly sweet girlfriend.

…

Rachel shuffles across the bed on her knees, only just managing to keep from tugging at the tiny little tank she's still wearing. "I don't— This is weird. What do I do with my hands?"

Her uniform is on the floor somewhere with Dani's. There was no fucking around once they made it through Dani's apartment door, and Dani now settles against the headboard, leaving her underwear on for the moment.

"Don't look at me," Santana says, her own hands raised in defeat. "I've never been with this many naked bodies without a pole to hold. Dani, I believe this was _your_ idea, so."

Dani just shakes her head, because Santana's ridiculous. The two of them are _ridiculous_. But they're also cute, and somehow Rachel's presence brings Santana just that little bit further out of her tough little shell and Santana softens Rachel, and they're both looking at her with these helplessly adorable faces, which isn't really appropriate for a threesome and— "You two need to kiss."

"What—" "Why?"

"You're the only combination here that hasn't. So, kiss." Dani folds her arms and leans back against the wall.

Santana's still dressed, but their uniforms are so short she's almost as uncovered as Rachel is, so when Rachel reaches out and touches Santana's leg it's practically second base. Dani watches as Santana glares at Rachel's hand, and then at Rachel, and then sort of throws herself forward and mashes their lips together in a kind of violent manner that might have hurt.

From the moan Rachel lets out, it could go either way. Santana steps it up, licking into Rachel's mouth and it's enough to make Dani squirm when Rachel's hands come up to thread through Santana's hair.

"Fuck," Rachel pants when they break apart, and Santana leans back in for another kiss, like she can't leave Rachel's mouth alone with the word.

"Now you two," Santana nods at them when she's done, a grin having replaced her glare. "It's not fair that I haven't seen that."

Dani wonders if they discussed this without her. The way Rachel's hand rubs soothingly at Santana's hip makes her think they did, and Dani's glad, because she doesn't want this to get weird. What she wants is what she's seeing in front of her: Rachel and Santana touching each other and looking at her like they both want to touch her, too. She definitely wants that.

Rachel crawls across the bed, shy little smile on her face that she directs at Santana, and then settles across Dani's lap with a knee on each side. "I really didn't think we'd be doing this again," she says quietly. "But I'm glad we are."

"Me, too," Dani says, then pulls Rachel in and tastes Santana on her lips.

Rachel kisses like she does everything else, Dani's learned in the last couple of months, with a lot of enthusiasm backed up by some very real talent. She does this thing against Dani's bottom lip with her teeth that has Dani convinced that she could come just from that. She's so distracted sitting there clutching at Rachel's hips that she's not aware of Santana moving until her hands cover Dani's and her knees settle in behind Rachel's.

As Santana's hands trail up her sides, Rachel makes this noise and then practically melts back into Santana's body. "This is weird," Rachel gasps, "but so much…" She doesn't finish the thought.

Dani meets Santana's eyes over Rachel's shoulder, bringing her hands up to thread her fingers between Santana's. Santana leans forward, peppers wet little kisses up Rachel's neck, her eyes still fixed on Dani as she sinks her teeth into the flesh below Rachel's ear. The moment feels tight, like Santana's waiting for something, and then Rachel moans and Santana's eyes flutter closed.

"Oh," Rachel sighs, relaxing into the space between them, starts to say, "what about…" before Santana shushes her.

"You first," Santana says as her eyes open again, and Dani nods.

They shift about, get Rachel's tank off as a team. Santana fumbles the clap on her bra and Rachel snickers against Dani's shoulder before letting the scrap of material fall away. She blushes like she did back at the diner, and Dani just has to pull her down and kiss her, roll her onto her back and press against her until Santana slaps her butt.

"Sharing is caring," she tells Dani, shruging out of her clothes finally. "I thought that was the whole point of this."

Rachel laughs, says, "You're the one that's all the way over there," and it's one of those moments Dani can tell they've known each other a long time. But then Rachel pulls her into another kiss, hand in her hair to hold her in place until Rachel's gasping against her mouth.

Dani pulls back to see Santana's hand trailing up Rachel's thigh, and Dani doesn't know where to look between the look on Rachel's face, the look on Santana's face, and the wetness that Santana's fingers find even through the material of Rachel's underwear. She doesn't mind that Santana's taking the lead; she finds the glazed look of disbelief on her face kind of hot, and she knows how much fun it is to break Rachel apart like this.

With a whine of pleasure, Rachel rolls towards Santana and hitches her leg up over Santana's hip, before glancing over her shoulder at Dani, "Come here," given as a gentle command.

She goes, scooting up to press against Rachel's back, hand stroking over the expanse of skin in her reach before pushing Rachel's underwear down and out of the way. It's silent but for their breathing, until Rachel gasps and surges forward against Santana.

"She likes it hard," Dani says, and Rachel nods desperately.

"Is that so." Santana smirks at that, then asks, "What else does Rachel like?"

"I think you can work that out for yourself," Dani says, returning her attention, and her touch, to Rachel's body. She trails her fingers around Rachel's breasts, which makes her moan so loudly Dani spares a thought for the old couple downstairs who have complained about way less noise before. That thought doesn't last long though, not when Rachel's hips begin to roll, forward into Santana and then back against Dani.

Santana leans in to lick into Rachel's mouth, and Rachel's hands scrabble to hold onto something, before finally settling on Santana's hair and Dani's forearm. It's like it closes a circuit between the three of them, and Rachel's nails dig into her flesh the faster Santana's hand works until she sucks in a breath, choking out half a moan before seizing in pleasure.

Santana keeps her hand moving, and Dani holds onto Rachel as she trembles violently, gasping heavily against Santana's shoulder as she continues to cling to Dani's arm.

"Huh," Santana says, brushing some hair away from Rachel's face, the tender gesture softening her words. "I think I worked it out."

Rachel lets out a startled bark of laughter, the reaction shaking her body and moving Santana's hand against her. It sends another tremble of pleasure through her, and she laughs even as her eyes squeeze closed and she clings to both Santana and Dani as it peters out.

"You're terrible," she says, voice rough.

"She really is." Her words bring Rachel's attention around to Dani, and Rachel wriggles around until she's on her back.

"And you're lovely," Rachel says, bringing her hand up to brush against Dani's jaw.

"She really is," Santana mimics, but she means it and Dani's eyes flutter closed as Santana's hand mirrors Rachel's. When they open again, Santana and Rachel are having some kind of silent conversation, but it's over quickly and then Rachel's urging her onto her back and shifting to her other side.

"We want to thank you," Rachel says, fingers walking across Dani's skin.

"Ahuh." Santana nods. "I mean, how many girls would let their girlfriend's roommate join them for some sapphic threesome adventures?"

"Probably only the ones who put up with a girlfriend who uses the phrase sapphic threesome adventure," Rachel snarks.

"Hey, just because—"

"No! Nope. Shut it down," Dani interjects, waving her hands between the two of them until they both fall silent. "Now kiss and make up."

They do, leaning across her body, and Dani smirks. That trick is going to be so useful, she thinks, settling back to watch them. _So_ useful.


End file.
